WATCHWORK

THE VERY BEST NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE

No Joke. Without A Doubt. Veritably Guaranteed.

THAT JOYFUL NOISE

TWO DAYS IN THE BAY TOUR

DEBUTANT BALL

JOYFUL NOISE

THE PETROL PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY PURVEYANCE FUND

Thanks, all you wonderful folks that kept us fed!

BRENDAN MCCREARY & ANDREW FIGUEROA CHIANG

TO THE WOMAN FROM THE HOME OF THE INTERNATIONAL DOUGHNUT COMPANY FOUNDED BY VERNE WINCHELL ON OCTOBER EIGHT 1948

As is well known, unicorns, glitter, and the monome are totally mortal enemies. I am glad that you too wanted to resolve this traditionally undignified fight in a manner a bit more civilized-like: a contest!

COOL FACTOR
Glitter loses here – and badly. The monome does all right, but it is one of the nerdiest ways to make nerd music – not cool. Unicorns: yeah, cool
G- 0 / M- 5 / U-10

IMPOSSIBILITY
Unicorns are totally impossible.
G- 0 / M- 0 / U-10

SPEED
Unicorns – speed of mythical horses: fast
Monome – speed of sound: faster
Glitter – speed of light: superfast
G-1 0 / M- 5 / U-0

TALENT
Unicorns are totally impossible.
G- 0 / M- 0 / U-10

IMPORTANCE TO CHILDREN’S ART
Unfortunately, monomes are not at all important to children’s art. Unicorns, though a trope of children’s stories and a frequent contributor to the visual culture of the youth art word, have nothing on Glitter. Glitter is everywhere: glued on to make eyes glimmer in self portraits, add texture to free-form finger work, and make pastoral scenes glisten in the sunlight; it sits on the supply shelf of schools everywhere ready to be tossed, scattered, and sprinkled in the hair of unsuspecting classmates; it fills the very lip gloss applied far too early to lips too young. An endlessly flexible medium, a cornerstone of youth culture, and a disturbing style staple: advantage Glitter.
G- 10 / M- 0 / U-5

TOTALS
G- 20 / M-10 / U-35

It’s settled. Unicorns. You should definitely get one of those.

-WW

THE WAY LIGHT BREAKS